Eureka Audax

A cautionary tale by Simon C.

Well the club had another good turnout for the Audax’s on Sunday 8th November 2015.

The ride for me out to the Eureka cafe was mostly spent behind what must have been the fastest tandem in the west. Tandems must be the work of the devil as the couple riding it seemed impervious to the weather or the need for food and water. The lady riding on the back of the tandem must have been hard as nails as she was only wearing a short sleeved summer top, which at this time of the year and with the horrible weather deserves a medal.

Following them for two and a half hours to the Café was nearly as bad as trying to follow Ben or putting up with the French (who were no where to be seen as the temperature was below 208 degrees) so I decided as I was wet through already not to stop and press on with a few of the others.

I had soon lost the tandem but was swiftly passed by a 7 foot giant of a man on a old steel framed bike, who was far, far to young to be passing me (like Mathew)! Although he was fast he kept going off route, so he decided to ride with the group I was in which was about as much fun as doing a B Ride with Andy T as he was so strong. The Devil was still up to his tricks  though as I suddenly lost heart rate and power on my Garmin, so I punched myself in the chest a few times just to check that I was still alive – it hurt, so I was still alive, just!

The group all split up around Wrexham and the Giant, with two others took a slightly different route than I had used before, but I was suffering a little due to the early fast pace so decided to take the route I knew.

Outside the shop/control I passed a few riders who had gone of the front earlier but they soon passed me again in a queue behind the ‘Giant’! At this point my legs were still in ‘suffer mode’ so I was unable to rejoin the pack which didn’t make me happy – me being the competitive type!

I envisaged stopping at the Ice Cream Cafe at Tattenhall but was out of water so I stopped at a shop and feasted on salt and vinegar crisps before cracking on with my now sore knee, which always seems to happen on this ride. I think this is probably due to the lack of hills, heavy winter bike and my increasing years…

As I rode on I was passed again by the ‘Giant’ but by now he only had one poor soul in tow – I presume he had eaten the others for lunch! This time I managed to stay with him and I even managed to do my bit on the front – if only to avoid be eaten by him further on!

As I pushed the peloton along, I glanced back…they were gone. Obviously I must have ripped the legs off them which was nearly as satisfying as making the French suffer! By now I’m about 10km from Cheadle and to my surprise the Giant passes me again – alone! He must have eaten all of his fellow riders and so fearing for my own safety, I let him roll by.

I eventually arrived back in Cheadle just before dark and met up with Neil and some of the Safari crew who were already back and seemed to have enjoyed a good ride.

Things to remember…

Don’t underestimate Tandems, they are very, very fast.
Giants will hurt your legs and eat you if you slow down.
It’s time the French came back to suffer in the wet and cold.